Let's talk about sex, baby

Lets talk about sex baby, Let's talk about you and me..

So, lets get down to the business of sex. Sex at the workplace. Is it common? I think it is more common that we would like to think. What about sex with the boss? Does that actually happen here in Malaysia or its just one of those things we watch on American tv?

Apparently it happens often enough for the new Rape laws being debated in Parliament to consider consensual sex between a boss and a subordinate which was obtained through a boss's influence or authority over the subordinate to be classified as rape.

Let us go behind the whole definition of rape. The determining factor is that there is NO CONSENT given by the victim. That is how we differentiate consensual sex and rape. Consent being the determining factor, if a subordinate has consented to sex, albeit reluctantly, the sexual act cannot then be classified as rape.

While women around the world are fighting for equality at the workplace, demanding salaries equal to that of their qualifications, we here in Malaysia have somehow regressed a good 50, maybe a 100 years with the new rape laws. (Of course there are good points to be noted in the amendments proposed- recognising rape in a marriage is a step forward)

For centuries women were treated as the weaker sex. Women would not be good leaders compared to men because we are more emotional. We were not as educated as men because our calling in life would be to stay at home and serve our husbands. Women have of course fought hard to dispel that notion. First fighting for the right to vote through the suffragettes movement, the right to work and etc, and once all of that were obtained, the right to be treated equally as men.

Why do women fight for these rights? Because we say we are equal if not better than men in terms of running a business or even running a country. (We applaud our Asian counterparts who are more inclined to choosing a female leader than Western countries)

So, why the brouhaha about the Bar Council opposing the amendments to the rape laws that classify consensual sex between a boss and a subordinate which was obtained through his authority over his subordinate as rape?

The Bar Council objects to these amendments based on the simple notion that it would be easy for a woman who had slept with her boss to cry rape once things have gone awry in order to "get back" at the boss. The NGOs retaliated by saying that the Bar Council were not sensitive to the victims of rape and that there is no known formal statistics to prove that women often make false allegations of rape.

While it is recognised that rape is a heinous crime and that victims of rape are often subjected to embarassment due to the nature of having to go through interrogations and medical examinations and having to testify in court in a public gallery, this I believe does not justify making the laws easier for women to cry rape. Of course the NGOs declare that women will not make rape allegations and subject themselves to the torture of having to go through the vigorous process of the law and procedures. But have they not heard of the saying "Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned"?

Women today are well capable of doing a lot to move up and forward. Just like men, many women are willing to kill and lie to move up the ladder.

Besides, now that there are many women who are bosses, perhaps the NGOs should recognise that women might also use their authority to get their male subordinates to have sex with them. If they fought for the laws to have equal protection of both male and female, then I might agree with the stance taken by them. If they only fight for the women because we are the weaker sex, then I disagree wholeheartedly. Australia now recognises male rape. Perhaps it is time we here in Malaysia do too.

So, for all the steps women have taken in dispelling the notion that we are the weaker sex, these laws that the NGOs are pushing for is taking leaps and bounds backwards. Declaring to the world that women ARE indeed the weaker sex and for the law to recognise that. Like I said before, the law already does actually because rape only applies to women, not men.

I would like to think that women today are educated, sophisticated and intelligent enough to know that it is wrong to sleep with the boss to move forward in a company. I would also like to think that we have the courage to say "No, thanks!" to a sexual proposition and pack our bags and move on to another company. And I would also like to think that if one were to agree to sex with her boss in order to climb up the ladder to success, one would have to suffer the consequences herself if things go awry and there is no promotion in sight.

If you thought it was the best stance to take, then you have to take the risk that comes with it. Dont go crying to the authorities and take advantage of the law to cry rape and ruin another person just because you did not get what you want.

Stop thinking we are the weaker sex. If you want to fight for equality, fight fair. Do not play dirty.