This statement caused such a big furore in the Parliament which subsequently swept through the whole nation. Women of all ages, shapes and sizes suddenly became interested in Parliament.(Not the lawmaking process, not the laws passed, not the leaking roof, but because of the offending comments that somehow manages to come out of Bung Mokhtar every other month. It takes skill and talent I tell you..) There were of course calls for an apology. And as usual in Malaysia, there will be the :-
1) Defiance - "I have every right to say what I want"
2) Denial- "The media took my words out of context"
3) Denial- " I didnt mean it the way that the MP thought it to mean"
4) Defence - " I respect women. I fight for their rights. "
5) Further denial - "Joking only la"
6) Acceptance(But with conditions)- "I apologise if women were offended by my comment. Though it was never meant to offend anybody"
The apology(if it ever comes) usually arrives only after a rollercoaster ride of persistent denials and more denials and then after every denial avenue has been exhausted, then comes to conditional apology.
So he apologised (sort of) and we women heaved a sigh of relief. Victory for women! Women - 1, Bung Mokhtar - 0. Power to WOMEN!
I have to admit though, I was not offended by the comment. I mean, for decades, women have been fighting for equality. We fought for the right to vote through the Suffragettes movement.
Men fought for the political domain to be kept exclusively for men. Yet we women persisted, starved and were tortured in prison just so we could have equal rights. And we won. Now we can vote as we like, all we need to do is scoot down to the nearest Post Office and register ourselves. (Of course women in certain countries do not have this right but the number of countries who deny these rights to women are quickly depleting)
We demanded equal rights in everything. In terms of pay, promotions, positions and everything else that is available to a man, we want it. And to a certain extent, we got it.
So while we are fighting this battle for equality, what is up with us still whining about men being insensitive to women? Or being MCP or being so ungentlemanly? Why do we still expect a man to give up his seat for us in a bus? Or hold the door for us? Or pay for our dinners instead of going dutch? Why indeed? If we want to be equal, we shouldnt then still want men to treat us as something less who need to be taken care of, to be served or to be treated kindly.
Do we as women, give up our seats for other women? Do we expect another woman to hold the door for us? I dont think so. In Malaysia, its called first come, first served. Its "Screw you!I came first!"
So what if Bung Mokhtar said we bocor every month? Yes, its crude. Yes, its sexist. And yes, MPs should be more professional in the Parliament. But if we ask him to apologise and he says, No-uh, I am not going to. So what? We should just shake our heads and pooh-pooh it. So we know he's an ass.(This is my personal opinion, you may not share it with me) We shouldnt need to descend into his level to play this dirty game of them boys against us girls.
Instead we focus ALL our energies into making it a big issue. AWAM, WAO, SIS all joined in the fray calling for an apology, making comments on how sexist the remark is...bla bla bla.
They are merely words. And these are words that mean nothing because someone who is an ass uttered it to provoke a reaction. If we were indeed professional, we should have just said, "Well, Mr. MP, I am saddened by your calousness and your lack of professionalism. Malaysia is going towards Vision 2020, somehow you're still stuck in the 18th Century. You should be ashamed of yourself."
And then go on to debate on things that DO matter to us women. Like maternity leave. Or higher pay. Or more representation on the Bench. Or the right for Muslim women to seek a divorce even if her husband does not want to "grant" her the divorce.
You know, important things.
After all, sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me.
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