I am sorry you are such a jerk, I really am.

"I apologise if this has affected anybody. I apologise to the non-Malays if they felt afraid of the symbol.

"To the Malays, I also apologise because I cannot defend the symbol of our heritage."

-Umno Youth chief Datuk Seri Hishammuddin Hussein.

There are crap apologies, and then there is Hishamuddin stupid, can-you-BE-more-insincere apology.

What type of an apology is this?

I apologise to the non-Malays if they felt afraid of the symbol?

It is the type of apology which is classified under "I am sorry you are such a jerk." or "I am sorry I said what I said and made you cry because I should have known that you're a sensitive bitch" or perhaps even "Please accept my sincerest apologies for doing what I did. I am truly sorry you are too stupid to understand why I did it."

But before that, since WHEN is the keris a symbol of the Malay heritage or UMNO's struggle? Just because it is customary for UMNO to kiss it and raise it and whatever else they do to it before the UMNO meeting starts, does NOT make it a symbol of Malay heritage which requires "defending" (WTF does this even mean? Raising it and yelling like a mad cow constitutes defending it?)Okay, so maybe I might be wrong. But this really is the first time I hear of the need to "defend" it.

But anyway, moving along.

We are NOT afraid of your damn symbol ok? Did you hear that, let me repeat that, we are not NOT afraid of the symbol you hold so highly and revere.

In the first place, there is nothing to fear. It is a thing. An object. (Attaching sentiments to it does not automatically make it something to be feared- it is still an object,a lifeless object) The only thing we fear is the fact that you are our Education Minister and you waving a keris yelling BLOOD does not augur well for the Non-Malays in our already rapidly declining education system.

And just because you make your yearly rounds to Chinese or Tamil schools, smiling, cutting ribbons, and making generally nice comments about these schools, does not mean you do not, in the privacy of your own home (or in PWTC during UMNO assemblies) call for slaughter of Non-Malays(symbolically or otherwise).

We know better. And that is why we made it known to you, LOUD AND CLEAR in the general election that you can shove your keris up your you know where.

And of course, the question of why it took you so long to issue an apology (an insincere one at that) is a mystery. It is a mystery because as Education Minister, we thought you have more brains (of course, many a times, we are wrong to assume politicians have brains) and thought process to sit down and think the BEST time to apologise for the keris wielding exercise is probably right after it happened. Not a year and a half later, or after UMNO's dismal performance at the general election.

Understandbly,your reason for this delayed apology is because:-

"the issue was not as big as it was made out to be.

But the reality is such, and I am not someone who is so filled with pride or arrogance that I cannot accept this fact."

Pride and arrogance is ALL you have, our dear Education Minister.

Because if you had indeed been as humble and sincere as you want us to think you are, you would not even have to issue this insincere apology (for whatever it is worth).

Because you would have never done the wrong you have done in the first place.