A friend of mine was very, and I mean, VERY pissed off when someone else's mother told her that her parents were not doing a good job as parents as they allowed her to take a loan to fund her own studies. According to the self proclaimed supermum she would never allow her golden boy to have to be burdened with loans to fund his own studies. (its obvious he is pampered as he is now constantly whining about his job eventhough he is paid more than any of us fresh graduates are.Whiner.)
So the soalan cepu emas is, for how long do our parents need to support us?
The Star today featured an article by an 18 year old who said that her father who left home a few years back, has applied to court to be relieved of his responsiblities to support her as she has turned 18. She said that there was a lacuna (a gap) in the law which allows for her father to abuse the law. The law meaning the Law Reform(Marriage and Divorce) Act 1976 . The apex Court had decided amongst others, that once a child has turned 18, the parents no longer need to support them.
The first thought that popped in my mind was that this girl must be from a middle class or upper middle class family. For she assumes she is entitled to higher education as her father can afford it. She assumes he has to pay for it as it is her right to be educated to the degree level in order for her to succed in life. But I think she forgets she is priviliged to be able to actually think she is deprived of these things. There are so many children from poor and broken homes who at an even younger age than she is, have to come out and work to support themselves. To have to make their own money to fund their own studies. And there are some whom with grit and determination have worked their way up the ladder of success with nothing much but SPM qualifications .
So why do we constantly think that our parents "owe" it to us to educate us? I believe that we have been pampered too much. We assume that it is their duty as a parent to provide us with all that we want. But i think their duty, first and foremost, is to love us unconditionally and provide for us. By providing I mean to have a roof over our head and to make sure we do not go hungry, that is while we are still unable to fend for ourselves. However, when we turn 18, we can play our role and help out, can we not?
If that 18 year old girl says her father does not want to pay for her education, then all she has to do is to apply to do her form 6(hopefully she was smart enough to work hard and get good grades in high school), and when she finishes that, apply to enter a public university and if she gets in and needs some funding, she can apply to PTPN for a loan. It is not IMpossible for her to obtain her degree. It is just a matter of perseverance and exploring all options open to her.
Instead she chose the easy way out.
She whined and wrote to the newspaper. She says the law is flawed. She says her father has abused the law. Perhaps she forgets that her father may have another family to support as well. Sure, he must be made to continue giving monthly allowances to help her mother feed the family, but perhaps that should be all that he is required by law to do. Is it our legal right to be educated to a degree level? I doubt it.
There are so many out there with sadder stories that you girl. There are so many out there who are not even educated enough to read or write, yet they survive because they have the determination and the grit. While you are pursuing wealth and success, many out there are fighting just to live.
So to her, I say be independent and fight your own battles. Fend for yourself. You are no longer young and helpless. Quit expecting things to be given to you.
No comments:
Post a Comment