Friday, June 13, 2008

My very own budget

Here is my very own list of things the Government can do to tighten their belts:-

1. All Ministers trade in their luxury cars and drive a Proton. In order of importance, PM gets a Perdana V6, DPM gets Waja Campro. All other Ministers get Gen-2/Persona and the Deputy Ministers can drive a Satria.

2. Send all Ministers for a holiday together-gether in Pangkor/Penang/Redang. It is in line with VISIT MALAYSIA year AND it saves the taxpayer a heck load of money AND it fosters better understanding among themselves.

3. All Ministers must give up their drivers. They have to start driving the cars themselves. It saves our taxpayers money and they can feel how it truly is to be Malaysian by driving their Perdana/Waja/Gen-2/Persona/Satria and experience it first hand how the automatic window dies on you and the bumper falls off after a slight bump .

4. No more police escorts whenever they want to go somewhere. They have to sit in the jam just like the rest of us. (Oh wait, this does not technically save any money but heck, its MY list and I sure as hell think it should be in it!)

5. No campaigns to launch stupid things like a new Malaysia Boleh song, or a new National Day song. Firsly because it always sucks. The tune and the words suck. And secondly, we do not care. We do not know how to sing it and frankly we do NOT want to sing it. So why bother launching something we Malaysians do not care about?

6. The Agong's birthday should ALWAYS, ALWAYS fall on a working day and should be a public holiday. We frankly do NOT care about the stupid processions, and the money wasted on jet plane fuel flying and performing stunts and money to decorate the whole Dataran Merdeka. What we really want is a public holiday. That is how WE (okay maybe just ME) would like to celebrate the Agong's Birthday. Seriously.

7. We also could not care less about the National Day Parade. All the processions are stupid and it causes people's children to be burnt under the sun for no reason. Instead of using the money for stupid processions, we would prefer if the Government save the money on the processions and just instruct all private companies such as Astro, Maxis, Digi and whatnot, to give all services for free for that one day in the name of being Malaysian.

8. Ask the cosmonaut to give all the cash he will receive from the book he is selling (if there are any sales at all) back to the Government to repay the money we used to send him there.

9. Ask those damned scholarship holders to come back and work here in Malaysia. And whoTF cares if you are married and waiting for your spouse. You use our taxpayers money to study overseas, you jolly well bring your ass back here and work for the Government. And make those who have been offered a scholarship sign an undertaking to come back or pay back and if they do not, their parents should be declared a bankrupt and not allowed to travel out of Malaysia unless and until they pay back the costs of their studies. Yes I am serious.

10. Stop building stupid universities or colleges just so you can allow more unqualified stupid people to get useless, worthless degrees. Instead of spending on building building and building, use the money wisely on improving the current universities and colleges.

11. Spend money only on athletes who are worthy. Nicol David, Josiah Ng, those badminton dudes and girls, our swimmers and divers. Those who actually WIN something when they go overseas and whose training actually produces results. Our football team sucks. BIG TIME. Stop sending them anywhere. Stop giving them money for being the suckiest football team in Asia.

12. Stop launching stupid "Anti Rasuah" and Ops Sikap and Ops this and Ops that and then print T-shirts, make badges and print banners to tell Malaysia of it. We can do without these stupid shoutouts. We just want the authorities to NOT take bribes. We do not need a campaign to tell us that. We do not need the policeman to wear a badge saying he is "ANTI-RASUAH". Save the money. Just tell them to don't bloody do it.

For now, this is the 12 I can think of.

I am sure there are many more out there and with more brilliant ideas on how the Government can save money and ubah cara hidup.

6 comments:

The Zik said...

holy crap i agree with ALL of the above! Especially number 4 - the jams are THEIR mess, so don't just sit at the back watching your hindi movie while your driver sweat out the jam.

Except for number 5, of course - who doesn't like "cinta IT" by siti nurhaliza eh? w00t! (note sarcasm)

And i think they are executing number 12. That's what they SAY lah...

Unknown said...

this is more for the transport minister... he HAS to take public transport. Everyday. Everywhere.

the rest of the ministers, one week a month of public transport.

Anonymous said...

i got more suggestion...

If there were govt organized worskshop, conferences etc, all must be done in their own department and offices. These events are normally held at some 5 star hotels or resort that civil servant perticipants use as opportunity for them to bring family for holiday. Waste of money and resources. Why can't their office made for meeting and had to go 300km away just to conduct these stupid meetings/conference/workshops??
Stop serving karipap during these event as all attendee already taken their meal before the event. More food will only make their belly even bigger. We want a health nation right? and the same time save money buying tit-bits..


Remove the privilage of civil servants to have their standard extended "tea break"
(that usually last for 1-2 hours at least). Since they do not work on Saturdays and still gets increament of wages, they should make fully use of their office work hour, be productive and give services to the taxpayers. if still need a break, bring tupperware with food instead of going out of office. Wasting time and petrol.

Don't start those stupid half-witted, half-bake campaign such as "TAK Nak Merokok", cintai sungai kita" etc. The tax payers' money spent (again, again and yet again) is all wasted and remotely nothing is achived so far.

People suffering from lung cancer (due to heavy ciggerette smoking) shall be thrown out from public hospitals. They know the cosquences of smoking and they should be denied of hospital traetment. Waste of money on these scums. Same goes to drug addicts too. If they die, its only a relieve to the society.

Confisticate all mat rempit motobike, and give them to the hardcore poor in Malaysia to make their living. They need cheap mode of transportation.

Stop erecting so call custom-made "thematic lamp posts" around your municipality as they looks like mangled metals, hideous, and definitely out-of-context. Use the standard lamp post lighting everywhere. After all, a lamp post is a lamp post I don't care if they are gold plated. Just be practical.

Stop installing "fake trees" or "bunga manggar" that glows or blink eerily at night. They are soooo artificial, create eye sores and exhibit "no sense of aesthetics". Plant real trees which can reduce heat in city, produce more oxygen and save heaps of money.

Stop making ridiculous majlis-style "monument" or "landmarks" that dominate road junction/roundabout. These concrete junk has no taste, and looks like dumpsite from far.
Simple landscape will do.

Cookiemaker said...

bahh!!

Imagine if all these idiots had to drive on their own, pay their own 'minyak' and had no drivers! They too will go boinkers!!

BTW, did you know a menteri makes approximately 50k plus a month? With that kind of pay, don't think they mind the price hike... :P

kong yoke said...

i actually thought of the same idea for scholarship students (declare their parents bankrupt).

eugene said...

Marina Mahathir wrote what appears to be a watered down version of this post here- http://www.thestaronline.com/columnists/story.asp?file=/2008/6/18/columnists/musings/21566187&sec=musings