SOLAR POWER BRA!

Malaysians have never been big on conservation or recycling.

We have recycling bins placed at the weirdest places, such as the front entrance(or side entrance) of Jaya Jusco (Kinta City) in Ipoh, where we are expected to carry our rubbish (all sorted out in order of bottles, paper and what not) and lug them to the front/side entrance of the mall and deposit them in there. I mean who would not want to get all dressed up for shopping and while you're on the way inside the mall, you carry rubbish for disposal and deposit them in the bins in the name of saving the environment?![Its a fantastic idea I tell you. I wonder if all other countries place their recycling bins in the perfect spots just as our country does- HAH!How clever are WE?!]

Now they also offer re-useable bags as an alternative to plastic bags. I first saw them being offered in Bangsar Village and they cost RM5. And now Jusco has them too, for a mere RM2. Many people have written in to newspapers calling for the Management of shopping malls to offer these bags for free(for obvious reasons), in order for the customers to choose to use them over plastic bags. If you think about it, while you're standing at the counter paying for your groceries, and the lady asks if you would like to BUY a reusable bag for RM2, OR get the plastic one for free, how many of you (honestly) will say, "give me the bag for RM2"?
A majority of us will say " HAH? RM2? TENTULAH PLASTIK!PERCUMA-MA!"

So what was my point again? Right, that Malaysians are not big on conservation. After all, we have never been encouraged to recycle and reuse. I am not solely blaming the Government for not doing enough (though I think they are NOT doing enough) because we each as individuals should also make an effort to recycle and reuse.

SO you see, I would like to share this UBER creative idea by the Japanese people.

As reported in the Sun today:-

"SOLAR BRA FOR CONSERVATION"

Lingerie maker Triumph International Japan unveiled its environmental-friendly, and green-coloured, Solar Power Bra(must be yelled out along the lines of yelling ULTRAMAN GABAN!) recently in Tokyo which features a solar panel worn around the stomach.

But as the panel requires light to generate electricity, the concept bra will not be in stores anytime soon as "people usually (important to note,its not always, but USUALLY)cannot go outside without wearing clothes over it" .

But it DOES send the message how lingerie could possibly SAVE THE PLANET(ala, SAVE THE CHEERLEADER SAVE THE WORLD!!). The bra however should not be washed or sunned on a rainy day to avoid damaging it. (How can it be SUNNED on a rainy day?) [italics and bold are my own]

See how the Japanese people are trying to be more environmentally friendly? Now if my bra can generate electricity on its own (who cares about partial nudity in public? ITS FOR THE ENVIRONMENT PEOPLE!Get with the programme!) I can charge my mobile phone batteries on the run. I will NEVER EVER run of battery power. Its like "hello? Oh wait, my phone battery is running low, hold on while I hook it up to my SOLAR POWER BRA(!!)to charge it!"

And if its possible to hook it up to a coffee machine, imagine how much money you can also save by making your own coffee. Even better, if you could have electric cars, you can charge the car just by hooking it up to the bra!
THE POSSIBILITIES (and potential) ARE ENDLESS!!

If only Malaysians were so innovative.

My very own budget

Here is my very own list of things the Government can do to tighten their belts:-

1. All Ministers trade in their luxury cars and drive a Proton. In order of importance, PM gets a Perdana V6, DPM gets Waja Campro. All other Ministers get Gen-2/Persona and the Deputy Ministers can drive a Satria.

2. Send all Ministers for a holiday together-gether in Pangkor/Penang/Redang. It is in line with VISIT MALAYSIA year AND it saves the taxpayer a heck load of money AND it fosters better understanding among themselves.

3. All Ministers must give up their drivers. They have to start driving the cars themselves. It saves our taxpayers money and they can feel how it truly is to be Malaysian by driving their Perdana/Waja/Gen-2/Persona/Satria and experience it first hand how the automatic window dies on you and the bumper falls off after a slight bump .

4. No more police escorts whenever they want to go somewhere. They have to sit in the jam just like the rest of us. (Oh wait, this does not technically save any money but heck, its MY list and I sure as hell think it should be in it!)

5. No campaigns to launch stupid things like a new Malaysia Boleh song, or a new National Day song. Firsly because it always sucks. The tune and the words suck. And secondly, we do not care. We do not know how to sing it and frankly we do NOT want to sing it. So why bother launching something we Malaysians do not care about?

6. The Agong's birthday should ALWAYS, ALWAYS fall on a working day and should be a public holiday. We frankly do NOT care about the stupid processions, and the money wasted on jet plane fuel flying and performing stunts and money to decorate the whole Dataran Merdeka. What we really want is a public holiday. That is how WE (okay maybe just ME) would like to celebrate the Agong's Birthday. Seriously.

7. We also could not care less about the National Day Parade. All the processions are stupid and it causes people's children to be burnt under the sun for no reason. Instead of using the money for stupid processions, we would prefer if the Government save the money on the processions and just instruct all private companies such as Astro, Maxis, Digi and whatnot, to give all services for free for that one day in the name of being Malaysian.

8. Ask the cosmonaut to give all the cash he will receive from the book he is selling (if there are any sales at all) back to the Government to repay the money we used to send him there.

9. Ask those damned scholarship holders to come back and work here in Malaysia. And whoTF cares if you are married and waiting for your spouse. You use our taxpayers money to study overseas, you jolly well bring your ass back here and work for the Government. And make those who have been offered a scholarship sign an undertaking to come back or pay back and if they do not, their parents should be declared a bankrupt and not allowed to travel out of Malaysia unless and until they pay back the costs of their studies. Yes I am serious.

10. Stop building stupid universities or colleges just so you can allow more unqualified stupid people to get useless, worthless degrees. Instead of spending on building building and building, use the money wisely on improving the current universities and colleges.

11. Spend money only on athletes who are worthy. Nicol David, Josiah Ng, those badminton dudes and girls, our swimmers and divers. Those who actually WIN something when they go overseas and whose training actually produces results. Our football team sucks. BIG TIME. Stop sending them anywhere. Stop giving them money for being the suckiest football team in Asia.

12. Stop launching stupid "Anti Rasuah" and Ops Sikap and Ops this and Ops that and then print T-shirts, make badges and print banners to tell Malaysia of it. We can do without these stupid shoutouts. We just want the authorities to NOT take bribes. We do not need a campaign to tell us that. We do not need the policeman to wear a badge saying he is "ANTI-RASUAH". Save the money. Just tell them to don't bloody do it.

For now, this is the 12 I can think of.

I am sure there are many more out there and with more brilliant ideas on how the Government can save money and ubah cara hidup.

40% from me, 10% from you?

OOOOHhHHH, NOW I get it.

They RAISE petrol prices by 40%, ask us to tighten our belts by 40% just so our expenditure balances and we do not go into deficit, but they themselves only reduce their excessive spending by 10% for useless things.

So here is a list of some BELT-TIGHTENING measures which the PM has introduced to save RM2 billion of US TAXPAYER'S money.

A) Entertainment allowance for cabinet ministers and deputy ministers cut by TEN PERCENT
- Wahlau, now the PM only has RM16,978.50, and Najib only has RM13,513.50, ministers only have RM11,088.00 and the deputy ministers only have RM5400 to spend on entertainment.
( What type of entertainment allowance are we talking about? Who is auditing these expenses? If I were a Minister and I bring my family for a dinner at Sudu in Hilton and come up with a bill of RM3000, is that considered "entertainment?" Who is overlooking the authencity of the claims?)

B) PAID ANNUAL vacations for ministers and deputy ministers limited only to Asean countries and domestic destinations, and only for a week.
- Firstly, I didnt know they have PAID ANNUAL vacations. And I did NOT know they used to go overseas with OUR DAMN MONEY. HELLO? WHY do they need PAID ANNUAL VACATIONS? WHY are WE paying for their damn vacations?? Lest the current government forget, you are suppose to SERVE US, not the other way around! SOB!
And now just because you limit it to Asean and domestic destinations we are suppose to jump on our feet and yell Hallelujah?

C) DEFERMENT of purchases of assets like cars, furniture, computers and office equipment.
- The important word here being DEFERMENT. Which also means, they pretend to NOT buy them now, and when the rakyat is no longer scrutinizing the budget as closely as before, they go on a spree. OR they use this deferment time to think of BETTER excuses to the reason why Ministers need BMWs, Mercedes, and other types of luxury cars available in the market.
(Like hello Mr. PM, you so DAMN PROUD to be Malaysian why isn't your official car a Waja? Or a Gen-2? Or the new Proton whatchamacallit which is worth RM80k?)

D) No expensive gifts.
- Er, what is classified as EXPENSIVE? And what gifts are we talking about? Who is receiving it? Who is buying it? WTF IS IT?

And this is only a snippet of the BELT TIGHTENING measures which the PM has ingeniously come up with to save RM2 BILLION.

Now, it is clear to ME these expenditures are not necessary. (I do not know about the rest of you)To me, it is NOT necessary for ministers to be sent on holidays (they can use they own damn money to finance their own damn holidays)and it is not necessary for entertainment allowances to be given to the Ministers. IT IS NOT NECESSARY. So you increase the petrol price by 40% and you cut your own allowances by 10% and reduce what in the first place is NOT necessary from SUPER EXCESSIVE to just plain excessive?

What are you expecting from the rakyat? GLORY HALLELUJAH?

The current government is a joke. You spend our money like water and you come up with a reduction of what I would term a "blatant misuse of fund" measures supposedly to "ubah cara hidup" in line with what the rakyat has to do?

Spare me the theatrics.

SOB! You mean we PRODUCE FUEL???!!

If there is one thing more obvious than the wig on Lim Kok Wing's head, is the fact that our beloved PM is not a man of his word. Remember those days not so many donkey months ago where he assured us that the rumour of a petrol hike was the "oppositions' way to discredit the BN"?

And then yesterday he announces that due to the rising costs of fuel in the world, the Government can no longer afford to subsidise fuel as it could previously? And that the costs of fuel did a triple jump and landed at RM2.70? But you know, its still cheaper than other countries (who do not produce their own fuel but is used for comparison just because they share boundaries with us and is lumped together as South East Asia)? In theory, even with my limited economic, number crunching, lack of mathematical skill half functioning brain, I can figure out that IF the costs of fuel in the world is soaring, it would automatically mean that Malaysia, as a country that produces oil/fuel should be laughing with glee because we export good fuel to other countries and import shi-no, I mean crap, no, I mean..yes I mean shitty ones for our own people. Right? I mean I MAY be wrong, but I am pretty sure that is how it works.

So how is the subsidy cut justifiable? And what happened to the promise he made the last time about upgrading the public transport? As far as I know, the Putra line still stops at Kelana Jaya, the Star Line stops at Ampang and Bukit Jalil (I forgot the one after Bukit Jalil) and the Komuter still takes forever to arrive anywhere and the Monorail requires a mad dash across the road in the rain to actually get there.
Upgrade?

The only upgrade that anybody has experienced since Bodohwi has taken over, is only himself and he now has a Jeanne, he has his own plane to fly around for his many holidays and his son in law somehow ends up richer and richer everyday through his many "successful" business ventures.

For the rest of us, this is what we have, which includes but is not limited to:-

1) Cost of petrol eventually hitting the ceiling cost of who-knows-how-much;
2) A dead Mongolian and her remains somewhere in Shah Alam and a bunch of loser policemen investigating it;
3) Rising costs of food, electricity, water and whatevernot we require to survive;
4) Proton cars selling at RM80k eventhough its 1/3rd the quality of imported cars;
5) Riots, riots and more riots;
6) ISA is suddenly the best invention ever when there is opposition to BN;
7) OSA is the second best invesntion when there is sinister truth to be buried in the ground never to be heard again and
8) A Malaysian astronaut sent to space at the costs of who knows how much and who knows for what.

I cannot WAIT for our PM's next set of promises!

When push comes to shove...

Sometimes, we have to take charge.

Sometimes, we just have to learn to step forward and take the lead.

Sometimes, when push comes to shove, we have to be ready to be a leader, and not merely a follower.

And the reason I am being philosophical about this?

Reported in the Sun today:-

"Prostitutes in deep water"

Five suspected mainland Chinese prostitutes were left screaming on board a speeding boat on rough seas after is coxswain (cox wha-?I know, a quick look at the dictionary revealed that it means 'helmsman of a rowed boat')jumped overboard during a police chase in HK waters.

Marine officers had to leap on to the speedboat (it cant be going THAT fast then if they can leap on to the boat right?) to stop its engine as (and here comes the best part) the five women CLUNG SCREAMING ON TO THE BOAT.

Ohhkkaaayyy.

Now, if I were on a boat, and the man steering the boat jumps off the boat, my first thought would be to rush towards the steering wheel to try to control the boat, or at least step on the brakes or even turn the engine off.

But that is me-la.

Obviously those "suspected prostitutes" thought it better to CLING to the boat and scream themselves hoarse. Nobody was in the right mind to step up and take charge of the situation.

It just makes me ponder, at 9am in the morning, of how sometimes we just have to step up and take the lead. While we are comfortable in some situations in life for someone else to be at the helm, when the situation warrants it, we have to be bold enough to take charge.

That I suppose applies to our current political situation as well. If your leader is no longer performing, or in this situation has jumped off the boat (to distract the policeman who had to stop the speeding boat while he tries to swim away), SOMEBODY should step up to the plate and take charge.

After all, that is better than clinging to the boat and screaming like a bunch of wusses, rite?

I think so.

RM8m out of RM700m?Its just a drop in the bucket!

You know someone is deluded when they are former state excutive councillors, no longer in the ruling party of the state, and cannot come up with a justifiable reason as to how and why they spent RM8 million of the rakyat's money, when they say that leaders of the Pakatan Rakyat state government should stop misleading the public on the money spent by them and warned that "if they continue with their finger pointing (and witch hunting), legal action will be taken against them."

Now, that is what I call the epitome of delusion.

Now this Datuk Dr. Zambry Abd Kadir has gone to the media to warn the PKR leaders in Perak that they should stop criticising the previous BN administration just for political mileage. According to him, the PKR leaders were on a finger pointing frenzy to divert the people's attention from having to explain their non-performance in their first 100 days of their administration.

"They are desperate for issues. They are looking for a smokescreen because they have not come up with anything for the people."

Because you see, according to the former state executive councillor, the RM8 million which was allocated for the small projects development fund was used up in roughly 60 days because it was spent to repair community halls and drains, and were channeled into 30 projects like repairing roads and buildings.

And the fact that it was used in the first three months of the year eventhough it was supposed to be for the WHOLE year of 2008, and coincidentally the general election JUST SO happens to be in March, does not mean that the money was used for the election campaign. It was just a mere coincidence.

Just a coincidence that prior to the General Election(GE), all the drains and buildings were allegedly repaired. Coincidentally, prior to the GE each state exco member was allocated RM100,000 in addition to the RM75,000. Coincidently, just before the GE, the state government was NICE enough to use up the RM8million allocated in the first three months to actually benefit the rakyat! We in Perak are such a lucky lot! Perak Nombor 1! *cue Perak No.1 song*

But seriously.

Come on, RM8 million is heck of a lot of money. Even if the former state executive council members may justify that "what is RM175,000 when spread over a population of 200,000 in my constituency?"

Yes, what is it indeed?

Let see, if the WHOLE RM8million was spent in the first three months, what happens in the next 9 months to come? What happens if more important things happen to roll along and GOD FORBID may require money to be spent?

I lived in Ipoh, and I go back to Ipoh every other week. And every time I am there, I do not see any "small projects" being undertaken in Ipoh. The roundabouts remain the same, the roads remain the same (and frankly, the road right in front of the MB's house needs a major repair job. Seriously.), the deplorable state of the town remains the same and besides an absolutely useless flyover near Jalan Golf, everything else remains the same. In fact the only small project I can think of which was implemented was the parking book project. Where a lot of money was/is spent printing those stupid booklets which require quite an amount of mental prowness to figure out how to scratch the correct time and the correct date, display it on your dashboard, and then having to run out and repeat steps above when time runs out. Like HELLO? Humans are at the brink of being replaced by robots here and we are still doing the scratch and display ticketing system?! The ONLY thingamajic I want to scratch is when it says scratch AND win and I actually DO win something. OK?

How about saving the environment here? Ever heard of an electronic parking system where you just put money into the machine, punch your car number and lot number and then skip off into the sunset?

So really, PKR leaders are not looking for issues, they are not hoodwinking us Perak people by this so called "witch hunting" exercises. They are ACTUALLY doing something worthwhile for us. They are actually letting us into the elite world of the BN spending and where the money goes. They are actually announcing to us that hey look, the money that you have worked hard for every day, slogging in the office for 8 hours a day, in which a majority of which ends up as taxes, is actually POSSIBLY, being misused by these people who are suppose to have your interests at heart.

These type of finger pointing frenzy, I like.

These type of witch hunting exercise, I welcome with open arms.

And if indeed PKR leaders are so called "liars because we (previous BN administration) left about RM700 million in the state coffers", well, only time will tell.

But for now, I want to jump unto the bandwagon in this bandit catching exercise. Come on people!

Its fun!!